[Kimbley had a bad night, and now he has a letter slot and way too much free time on his hands; seems he spent most of today completely covering Form B because of course he did. Was he supposed to be concise or...meaningful in any way with this because oops.]
I knew going into this thing that I'd either have nothing to say to you guys or I'd write you the next...well, I don't know if I'd call it "great," but The Next Sort Of Mediocre Amestrian Novel doesn't have the same ring to it. Either way, I've got a bunch of forms and all the time in the world, and I don't like being bored. (If you ever wanted confirmation that the afterlife is full of paperwork...that is really sad and I sort of question what your life is like but, well, here you go. I'm currently writing all the hell over Form B, and I have no idea what happened to Form A. Bureaucracy!)
I'm not going to pour my heart out to all of you assholes or try to make you all feel better for managing to get me killed - thanks for that, by the way - but I guess I'll start by saying that for once in my life (afterlife? it's confusing) I'm not mad at anyone either. It's like I've been saying from the start, we're all going to get exactly what we deserve in the end. I never put anyone's life above or below my own, and I guess most would see that as my mistake going into this whole thing, but that doesn't change the fact that we're all baseline worthless, every single one of us, and the world doesn't stop for us. It didn't stop for Moge-ko or Greed, it didn't stop for Himemiya or Matou or Keyes, if it stops for Newman (who's probably next to go at the time I actually sat down to write this) I will be vastly fucking surprised, it won't stop for anyone else you send down here, and it sure as hell didn't stop for me, either. So good job on saving your own skins for another few decades, I guess, if any of you last that long - you did it for nothing, and you're not going to be any better off than any of the rest of us. Maybe you'll end up in Paperwork Hell with me, who knows. Friend Computer doesn't seem too prompt when it comes to resolving shit, I'll probably still be down here.
Every single one of us is empty, and we're worthless, but I will point out that that's exactly why you shouldn't regret any of the shit you do. What you do doesn't matter to the world because the world categorically doesn't care about you, so why shouldn't you do exactly what you want? Destroy the people who tried to destroy you. Run away and get married. Set something on fire. Own a puppy. Own six puppies. Kill a guy just to see what it feels like. Learn something new today. (Here, I'll take care of that last one for you - HIMEMIYA HAD SOMETHING HUGE AND METALLIC AND WEIRD IN HER CHEST. DID ANYONE EVER FIND OUT WHAT IT WAS?? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.) The only person who truly cares about what you do is you, so don't waste your time regretting anything.
So congratulations, I guess. I think you're stupid as hell for caring so much about whether you make it out of here alive or not, but as long as you don't regret the shit you did, I can't really complain about how you're coming at it. At least you guys put on a hell of a show for us - we've been seeing it the whole time like the world's most fucking useless guardian angels, only instead of protecting you we've all been sitting back and kind of laughing at you the whole time. (That's what happens when you kill all the nihilistic assholes first.)
Hopefully Friend Computer will actually show you the stupid form I'm writing this on, it's getting sort of ridiculous. I told you at the start that I suck at this sort of thing, but looks like you got another speech out of me after all.
Have a good one, for as long as you're around after this.
no subject
I knew going into this thing that I'd either have nothing to say to you guys or I'd write you the next...well, I don't know if I'd call it "great," but The Next Sort Of Mediocre Amestrian Novel doesn't have the same ring to it. Either way, I've got a bunch of forms and all the time in the world, and I don't like being bored. (If you ever wanted confirmation that the afterlife is full of paperwork...that is really sad and I sort of question what your life is like but, well, here you go. I'm currently writing all the hell over Form B, and I have no idea what happened to Form A. Bureaucracy!)
I'm not going to pour my heart out to all of you assholes or try to make you all feel better for managing to get me killed - thanks for that, by the way - but I guess I'll start by saying that for once in my life (afterlife? it's confusing) I'm not mad at anyone either. It's like I've been saying from the start, we're all going to get exactly what we deserve in the end. I never put anyone's life above or below my own, and I guess most would see that as my mistake going into this whole thing, but that doesn't change the fact that we're all baseline worthless, every single one of us, and the world doesn't stop for us. It didn't stop for Moge-ko or Greed, it didn't stop for Himemiya or Matou or Keyes, if it stops for Newman (who's probably next to go at the time I actually sat down to write this) I will be vastly fucking surprised, it won't stop for anyone else you send down here, and it sure as hell didn't stop for me, either. So good job on saving your own skins for another few decades, I guess, if any of you last that long - you did it for nothing, and you're not going to be any better off than any of the rest of us. Maybe you'll end up in Paperwork Hell with me, who knows. Friend Computer doesn't seem too prompt when it comes to resolving shit, I'll probably still be down here.
Every single one of us is empty, and we're worthless, but I will point out that that's exactly why you shouldn't regret any of the shit you do. What you do doesn't matter to the world because the world categorically doesn't care about you, so why shouldn't you do exactly what you want? Destroy the people who tried to destroy you. Run away and get married. Set something on fire. Own a puppy. Own six puppies. Kill a guy just to see what it feels like. Learn something new today. (Here, I'll take care of that last one for you - HIMEMIYA HAD SOMETHING HUGE AND METALLIC AND WEIRD IN HER CHEST. DID ANYONE EVER FIND OUT WHAT IT WAS?? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW.) The only person who truly cares about what you do is you, so don't waste your time regretting anything.
So congratulations, I guess. I think you're stupid as hell for caring so much about whether you make it out of here alive or not, but as long as you don't regret the shit you did, I can't really complain about how you're coming at it. At least you guys put on a hell of a show for us - we've been seeing it the whole time like the world's most fucking useless guardian angels, only instead of protecting you we've all been sitting back and kind of laughing at you the whole time. (That's what happens when you kill all the nihilistic assholes first.)
Hopefully Friend Computer will actually show you the stupid form I'm writing this on, it's getting sort of ridiculous. I told you at the start that I suck at this sort of thing, but looks like you got another speech out of me after all.
Have a good one, for as long as you're around after this.
- Zolf J Kimbley