DEAD 04

[thecomputer]

[Welcome, Anthy, Sakura and Simon!]

[You regain consciousness in a waiting room of some sort. Something is clearly odd - your entire body is slightly transparent, and everything you were carrying with you aside from your clothes is gone. On the plus side, you seem to be impervious to all harm.]

[There is an end table with two stacks of papers. One is a large area to write in (there is a small assortment of pens next to this), and the other all bear the same message:]

Congratulations! You have died.

Please wait in this area until such time as the exercise is terminated. At that time, you will be transferred to your appropriate afterlife. If you were assigned a Communist role, rest easy knowing that any ultimatum given as part of your motivation was false.

If you have any questions, please shout them into the air, and a representative will get back to you within 5-100,000 business days. If you have any final messages for the living, please write them on form B and submit it into the slot in the south wall. Delivery is not guaranteed.

[Sure enough, there’s a slot. In addition, a hallway connects this room with a much larger room, not unlike a movie theatre. A large screen on the far wall shows various events back in the facility as they unfold in real time. A side alcove provides slightly transparent popcorn and a water cooler, although hunger, thirst and exhaustion don’t seem to exist here.]

Comments

[alchemicals]

Hey, as long as you don't expect me to kiss your ass and tell you what a smart person you are - so clever and calculated! - I don't give a shit what you say.

[murimurimuri]

Obviously not. If I were half as clever as I thought I was, I'd still have a pulse right now.

[alchemicals]

At least we agree on that.

[murimurimuri]

And if they're even a quarter as clever as I thought I was, they'll kill both Newman and Fulbright tonight.

[alchemicals]

Two things, then.

Hopefully your friend manages to last the night, he doesn't seem to be doing all that well.

[murimurimuri]

Oh, he'll be fine. He'll have a nice, sad story to tell for the rest of his life about how he tragically lost his noble best friend. Might even get himself some pity lays.

[Bitter bitter bitter, wow is this guy bitter.]

[alchemicals]

You think he's that much of an asshole?

[..............]

Don't get me wrong, from what I've seen he's exactly that much of an asshole. But you'd know.

[murimurimuri]

He's so much of an asshole he'll delude himself into believing every last word.

[alchemicals]

You're cute when you try to assert yourself, you know.

[murimurimuri]

And you're not cute no matter what noises come out of your mouth.

[alchemicals]

I'm not trying to be.

[murimurimuri]

You're trying to be a patronizing pain in my ass.

[alchemicals]

I talk to everyone like this, if you hadn't noticed.

You picked a bad venting target, princess, I'm sorry.

[murimurimuri]

Who am I supposed to talk to? Little Miss Justice? I'm not feeling mature enough to deal with the red menace right now. I guess I can vent to Greed once the two of you are done playing footsie.

[alchemicals]

...What.

[fuck was that, keyes, you want to try again]

[murimurimuri]

[You're damn right I do.]

It's a movie theater, after all, so it's only natural if you lovebirds want to get in a little under-the-clothes groping or some such. I'm not here to judge!

[absolutejustice]

Lady Esdeath says that you see that kind of thing all the time in the armed forces!

[murimurimuri]

There you are! It's perfectly healthy and natural.

[alchemicals]

...I hate every single one of you people here.

[murimurimuri]

[Laughs like an asshole. Nothing like somebody else's unhappiness to make a guy feel better.]